ALAMAK~~!!!

2005-06-28T05:51:00.000-07:00

hmmz.. have nothing to write for now.. pia-ing hw now.. =P

lalala!!

2005-06-23T05:43:00.000-07:00

heys peeps! long time no blog huh!! hahas!! missed me?? i went to china!! and made a good lot of frens there manzz~ wahhaha!!

since i returned.. ive got loads of probs cropping up~ guess my family's is slowly falling apart. i guessed it before i left this place. now its happening~ =) what can i do? i hated him from the start. he had never made me proud. whatever.

the china trip was fun! i mean.. u get to throw those stuffs away and enjoy.. its like starting totally anew there! i mean! how cool is it to start anew~ where no one knows you~ knows the real u at least! its totalli cool! u dun get family probs there.. u dun get frenship probs ther~ u wun be interested in the guys there! its just u and ur frens and china! hahas! i dunno.. i just hoped i din leave that place~ oh well...

todae~ went out to stardi with arif and xinyue~ hahas~ i ended up doing their chinese hw?!??!! kuku.. some newspaper review.. spent my 2 whole hours doing.. yea... but~~ hhas!! not bad!! got to bulli peeps! wee!!! hahas~ yepps~~ went to take neos too!! hahas!! and its the first time i decorate neos until NOT BAD lehs!!! ahhas!! quite a fun day!! hahas!! =)

living in a fun fun world..
[diFFerENt PerspECTive]

suppx!!

2005-06-09T07:14:00.000-07:00

yoyoYO peepx out there!! hahas! missed me?! betya did!

went out with my dearest mum yesterday! woohoo!! got a temp. bag for myself with my own money before i met up with her~ the $9.90 roxy plastic bag? cuz i found that i could not walk around with that ah ma esprit bag anymore~~ =X yeppx.. temp one.. saving money for a good one~~ wahaHA!

then went bugis street with my mama~~ bought a EMILY THE STRANGE sling bag for my trip!! woohoo!!! wahhHA! cost $30.. hmmz~~ quite ex larhhs~~ paisae lorHs! but i still got IT!! woohoo! hahas!!

almost packed finish my stuffs~ hahas!! aeroplane.. hmmz.. weeEE! BANG! hahas~~ ok.. im being psycho! nvm.. hahas!! tell ya guys smth yea?? im gong insane!! wahhaHA! dunno wats up with me though!! haha!

tml have netball match against sengkang~~ hu will win?? hope that we will win larhhs!! have julia as a shooter!! darn accurate mannZ! hahas~~ gosh.. needa wake up so early tml!! =\ wanna sleep!! slept at 12a.m..woke up 11 todae~~ had a nap at 5.. woke up at 6.30~~ hmmz.. super sleepy larhhS! and i haven touched my hw yet!! hahas!! bring china do??NO WAY! hahas!! dunno alrhhS! see how first larhhs~~

woohoo!! love my mum so much now!! hahas!! suddenly i believe in that chinese drama series at 9pm now.. that the dead will go to the netherworlds.. and have that kinda life~ hahas! i wanna try!! woohoo!!!

ok.. nvm... see ya guys!! miss me!

E.von.NE

ahhh!!!

2005-06-04T22:14:00.000-07:00

im going crazy!!! ahhH!!! i dunno wats wrong with me... i mean.. he's just a stranger~~ i dun see him now!!! =\ feel so miserable.. so dead..!!! =
why cant she just confront me if she dislikes me?? i can SOO feel that she dislikes me! she can just tell me straight! i hate what shes doing! its so obvious she hates me but she just wont say it out! i dunno the reason?? is it him which is the reason?!?!? wat the hell... no one is with me when i hated him.. everyone was stuck on him.. the onli people who were wif me were not even my close frens.. FREAK!!!

ive had enuff.. i dun even noe who am i now.. i dun even noe where i am now... u guys just left me here.. where am i suppose to go? its just the case... fine.. leave me.. i dun care anyway!! WHO NEEDS U GUYS?! FUCK OFF!

sad??

2005-06-02T05:47:00.000-07:00

haix~~ yoyos!!

hmmz.. todae went to JP and watch madagascar with sarah~~ hmmz~~ super nice show!! =P hahas!! must watch it peeps!! =) also.. watch out for Charlie And The Chocolate Factory~~ its gonna be nice!! save up money for it!!!! =) and when u guys wanna watch~~ call me alonggg!!! =P

at first i could go elsewhere and watch.. but i went to jp.. cuz i TOT BUS might be ther.. hais.. nvm.. =\ i was wrong i guess... agane?? hahas... oh well.. =\ been real sleepy todae~~ there's a netball match tml.. hmmz.. hope i will be sharp in my shooting tml~ oh well.. gosh.. mum's nagging bout me using comp agane?? blahs!

think i gtg now.. FREAK! cant even blog.. and i haven even created my chi blog.. its a hw!! =
E.von.NE

wow...

2005-05-31T22:56:00.000-07:00

wahahha~~ hihis! its been super long since i posted~~ ive got loads of hw dued and not done~~ and also!! loads of sleep to catch.. so many things to do.. so little time...

THE CAMP IS TOTALLY CRAP! i miss my sleep so darn much larhss!!! gosh!!! cant imagine,... level camp?!?!? PLEASE!! someone help... break my bones watsoever~ i dun care!! =\ im sho~~ sleepy! nvm.. =
and my skin on my face is peeling like no one's business~~ pain larhhs~~ and i look like i have some kinda disease?!?!? what the heck~~ stupid sunburn~~ look total kuku!

so many freaking days since i saw BUS~ so sianx... oh yea! cuz i had henna~ and i went for the netball carnival after that~~ my hand was tanned~ and so.. after the henna was gone~ there is a shape of a bus ther!! =P cuz i used henna to draw on it =D lalla!! so nice! just now was taking taxi with sarah~~ saw someone who looked like BUS~ when we passed by 180~~ but~ might not be larhhs~~ *positive!!* yeps~ not sure larhhs~~

so sleepy.. still have piano lesson.. gosh.. someone save me.. =\!

blahs!!!

2005-05-23T18:55:00.000-07:00

hmmz.. this is not gonna be a good dae.. super tired.. hope to blog later.. =
zzzz..... bleaugh!!

saw him just now.. i was on the bus and he was at the bus stop.. first i took a bus at the interchange.. then i found that i was too early so i alighted and took the next.. but.. i was still too early.. haix.. so.. i saw him.. i was on the bus.. he was at the bus stop.. fine.. i was sad.. super sad.. i mean.. maybe im a joke.. maybe this WHOLE thing is a joke.. great... =
i think all i can do is to give this whole thing up.. but i dun want to.. i want to find out everything bout him.. =\ realli... =\ nvm.. just a loser here`~~

wahahha!

2005-05-22T23:00:00.000-07:00

heyheys!! yesterday's wedding dinner was quite fun actually! hahas!!

sat with a few of my aunts on the same table.. their age range bout.. ermms.. 20-23 kind?? then yepps.. just chatted lorhhs~~ hahas~~ we all spotted a quite good-looking waiter serving us..

and not long after~ the actress.. huang hui?? the one in the saturday show came. and everyone had our eyes on her~ my dear grandma went to take foto with her.. =X hahas~ she gave me that very stressed smile.. poor thing. hahas~ found out that she was my grandma's brother's wife's niece~ ok.. long long long distant relative. =D she was very pretty =) hahas~

then after eating a few dishes.. my aunts decided to play a fool.. with that cute waiter~ hahas~ they started asking him ALL sorts of ques~ hahas~ like what was his name. how old he was. what school he was from. blah balh!! hahas~ and my father played along too~ hahas~~ so. yea~~ the whole tabel somehow just got to know him~~

he was super embarrassed!! hahas!! and when the dinner was almost over.. my aunt told him to com forward.. and was like.. "whats your no.? quick larhhs!! for my nieces! i have to go now!!" ahhas!! and he just gave it!! wahhaha!! like super funni alrhs!! and my sis's fren was working there too. hahas~and her fren knew bout that incident and my sis became super embarrassed!! hahas~~ she promised not to go to this kinda function anymore!! hahs~ =P

when we left the ballroom~ my father was like~ "brudder~ take care~ see ya next time~" hahas~~ he shocked tio.. then just said ok.. hahas~~ then we just said bye to each other and i keep laughing all the way~~ wahahhah!! super funni alrhss!! pity that guy.. wahahhaha!!!! oh well.. =PP

hoping for another function!! anyone have any~~ can call me along~~ wahahah~~ will be glad to look out for cute guys and make fun of them!! hahas~~

E.von.NE

tired..

2005-05-22T00:37:00.000-07:00

todays a sunday. but there's no school tomorrow~ happy vesak day people!! =)

finished the song i was blogging about yesterday. wahaha~ sound stupid.. nvm =\ hmmz.. have to attend a wedding dinner later.. so tired!! woke up super early todae as there is someone coming to clean the house.. =\ i slept late yesterdae... not fair.. =(

blahs! did not touch my study table at all.. din study todae.. slacked today. freak. have to study more tml then.. guess i cant be the person i used to be. cant slack no more. scored real badly. i really have to do my best and go to that klass iw anna go to.. i dun wanna be left behind. =\ they are the smart ass~ and me? just one dumbass~ =\ nvm..

ok.. nth much to blogg todae actually~~ tired!!! =\ blogg again next time!! =)

E.von.NE

.. =(

2005-05-21T08:52:00.000-07:00

whats wrong with me? i am sadder by the minute..

ytd i was called being stupid.. that i was a disgrace to my family. for getting "great" marks for my exams. and the worst thing is. i did not tell my mum my worst results. what am i gonna do?! i guess im really dumb. ive made up my mind. if my hmt still doesnt get a b4 at the end of the year. i guess im gonna drop it.. =( i dont wish to.. so i have ta work for it.. so far getting c6.. great. ^.-

ive started learning history. at chapter two now. had some notes from my sis. she jotted down some high possibility ques coming out for exams and i just answer them. so far so good. hope i can score. since i already started.

two more days to tuesday.. i watched two vcds today. had nothing to do.. "dodgeball" and "teenage drama queen". had too much time maybe. after learning hist. well. not bad.. quite interesting. surprisingly. none made me cry~ =)

im now writing a song bout how i feel now. some dumb ones larhs. like i have loads of them. but none seems to be nice enough. this is the 5th one i guess. always been writing sad ones. as i dont do these kinda stuffs when im happy.. who will? =) so. yepps.. still working on the chorus~ might be out someday in a disc! yea rite~~ ^.- alrite then.. quite late now.. have a wedding dinner to attend at CHEVRONS tml nite. abalone again!! =P woohoo!!

peace out!

E.von.NE

haix..

2005-05-20T06:31:00.000-07:00

can someone tell me who i am? i am dumb enough to fall for someone i do not know. he might have a girl already. i dont know his name. i dont know his age. all i know is his school. but the first time i saw him i saw that "im the right one" look. i do not want to be hurt again. ive just recovered.

i did not board that particular bus today. i was late. no school til tuesday. i will just remain sad til tuesday. i do not know what's up with me. i just wanna know why i am going through all these.

i told my parents my results except my science results. they were unhappy. they ARE unhappy. how am i suppose to tell them my science results??!!?! i am so gonna die~

what the hell i am now going thru friendster looking for him?! ok.. i am abit dumb. but. i really wanna know who he is. =\ nvm. this is life.. fate.. i guess..

is it me or is it me??

2005-05-19T06:24:00.000-07:00

haix.. i am depressed. i dont know whats on with me but all these results, friendship and what humans call BGR thing is making me sick.

heys. my day was totally screwed up. and i dont even know the reason why?! i mean. firstly i woke up late and started rushing as i want to get onto the same bus i take everyday. (obvious reasons) and i forgotten to take my file with loads of maths stuffs in it. and also my maths file. when i was in the bus, i dont know what was wrong with my human body and started fidgeting..( i really dont know why.. urgh!) and when i reached that particular stop. i did not dare look up. it was not the normal me. what's wrong with me?! and when something or a human( duh! people know who!) passed me by. i acted like i did not even care! what the heck! argh! i swear my heart beated almost as fast as the speed of that jaguar animal!

in my DEAREST school, i basically just slack my whole day through and made a big big fool out of myself. and purely noticed i became the centre 0f attraction instantly. (blahs!) what the heck i was just trying to get involved! (whatever!)

one good thing was i got to waste paper! that was the only thing that relieves my anger (other than shopping of course!). and so my fren and i started writing some letter sent by the "postman" every now and then. haas! quite fun though. oh well!

looking at my fabulous grades i start to wonder. is grades really that important? majority of the people in this pathetic universe which means earth as there is only earth with PEOPLE on them, thinks that grades ARE important. well, i thank the minority for understanding what students are going through. we wake up at 5 in the morning (most of us) and go to school and end up returning home at 6 plus. with remedials stuffs~ heys. we are humans too. earthlings need time of their own. people says that it will be a 5-day week. but hey. having 5-day week means spending more time during weekends. (urgh!)

i start to wonder how on earth i am supposed to survive these few years studying and STUDYING. i mean. as i said in my previous post, if an asteroid really hits us in 2018, i would be 27. and i will spend 20 years of my life studying AT LEAST?! 7 years working. my money will be earned for, NOTHING?! NO WAY!

IPW is totally tiring, my brain juice is squeezed til there's nothing left! i have been thinking questions for the past hour. im gonna drop soon. and my dear mentor. how DEAR is he. teaching us to be independent by not teaching us ANYTHING bout project work and just giving us work and deadlines. THANKS! *roll eyes*

by the way, i watched the singing competition and i find that some people who not in choir can sing pretty well. let me recall. a 5/1 girl, she was great and that 3/7 ivan? and also the guy named fanzhi or something? yeps. they were good~ others i would like to praise their guts~ =) yeps. it seems so fun! =P

so yeps. that's basically what happened today. wished today will be a history soon.

E.von.NE

hmmz..

2005-05-16T18:40:00.000-07:00

heyheys!! havent update for quite a long time now..

i have finally bought my top!! hahas! and a pair of sandals too! spent loads of money though. oh well. hmmz. oh yars!! finally found out who is deimos! woo hoo!! ^5!! =P

these few days been spending my time sleeping.. uploading pictures to the com and loads~ but not the time to update though.. but heys! i tried to change my blogskin... =\ but failed! oh well! its not really my fault though.. i couldnt find my tagboard.. (blah! blah!)

im in skool now.. and im gonna get my test papers soon!! nooooo!!!! i cant bring myself to look at my results.. my totally disastrous results!! =\ lets see.. im gonna fail my science.. my maths.. my english.. my chinese.. what else do i have to pass?!!?!? urgh! ok.. im prepared.. prepared.. =
oh yea!! another thing~~ was boarding the bus to skool.. 180?? and i saw the juying sec guy again?!!? hahas! how cool! he smiles with the eyes ecoming a line! =) so cute!! hahas!! nvm.. but.. yea! he's cute! =P

oh.. to my readers out there.. im proud to say that i have forgotten bout him.. almost TOTALLY!! =P and he's almost NOTHING to me!! =P he is not the world to me anymore! he's not even a pea!! so.. thanks people!! =P

so.. yepps.. peace out!

E.von.NE

yawns..

2005-05-13T22:57:00.000-07:00

today is a super boring day.. chose to stay at home though.. needed to get enough sleep. still have to go out tomorrow~ i haven got a top to go with my bottom for the wedding which i have to attend next week. flipped through seventeen and stuffs and they dont seem to be able to match my bottom. blahs!

i guess jolyn is now enjoying herself in escape. well, its quite a relief that i did not go. im afraid of heights and also i might be dozing off at some machines. i was really beat yesterday. i guess suddenly people who went for yesterday sudeenly love the world, cos' heys! im the world to them! =X

now all i hope for is another haircut! im sick of my hair now. haas! oh well. and i am still looking for a nice bag! anyone can recommend me one? =)

adina loves me so much! hahas! i love her too!! i love SNJT! i love moomoo, poopoo, soosoo, looloo and tootoo!!! and of courssee!! KOOKOO!! hahas! kookoo is dua jia! i named him! hahas! i love 2FOUR! i did not expect all these people to fill that much of my life! they rule my life manz!

i guess i will soon forget about that hHIM. i have mastered the skill of forgiving and forgetting and also to LOVE all equally. maybe soon enough he will just be a pea in my life! =) i mean. whatever he does to me does not matter to me. i dont really care if he says anything rot behind me. but heys. it affects my reputation! =X oh well. he hasnt got a good reputation anyways.

so for now! im the happy me once again!! =P chill out people!

PEACE OUT! love ya readers!

E.von.NE

wow!!

2005-05-13T07:25:00.000-07:00

hahas! todae had klass outing!!! =PP hmmz.. was very fun overall ( except for twenty minutes of it) ahahs!! had loads of experince.. woah! i m still afraid og heights..

hmmz.. me sarah and jamie arrived first but reached there later than jo ger dina and dua jia cuz they took taxi!! blehs!! hmmz.. but yea~~ prepared stuffs~ and yea!! waited for the rest~ blah blah! took loads of photos with dua jia and stanz!! and loads of S.N.J.T family portrait too! =P

when most of us arrived~ we began playing and stuffs! =P ok.. to a betta part.. this is getting boring..

we played truth or dare!! hhas!! all of us!! hmmz.. told quite alot of stuffs.. =X nvm.. i TRUST them!! =) so yea! we had loads of fun! and we played loads of times of flying fox! its fun!! and we made jolyn go on flying fox 14 times back and fourth NON-STOP!!! hahas! its her birthday this sunday anyway!! she's turning 14!!! heex!! sho happi for her!

today's bingxin birthday. treated him to a drink of mccafe~ so sorry bingxin.. im going broke so thats all i could give you~ =) tomorrow's malcolm's birthday. sunday's JOLYN's birthday!!! oh my gosh!! we gave her her present today and she was totally touched i tell u! i could see it from her eyes!!! hahas~ =XX

oh yars.. i dunno what happened.. im getting worried for sarah.. i think she might be in trouble now so i do not dare to sort of call her or something.. i sure hope she's alright.. she was getting real real late.. and i hope she dont get to too big a trouble.. haix.. really hope she's alright!! =
i could really see this class being more of a whole! i dont know but i see quite a few people in a different angle now and i find them great! =) well.. i sure hope they feel the same way too.. =) and i hope all kinds of arguments misunderstandings between cliques will be off.. and heys~ peple who did not attend.. u missed out on a bonding session.. and u missed out a lot of fun! well.. i guess you guys have a good reason for missing all these. it is really a pity. two four have really changed. =) suddenly all the people who attended todae seem so ON to me! =) they are fun people manz!! love them all!!!

today i found out that most of the people have made effort to get involved and it really touched me. i learned alot of things from them. YOU MAKE ME PROUD PEOPLE!

oh ya.. my mum told me that an asteroid will hit earth in 2018?!?! i cant let that happen.. i would like only be 27?!?!? and i wont be married yet.. and i wont have a chance to migrate then!!! i will not be able to do things that i want to do! i sure hope it aint true.. i am afraid!! ahhhh!!!! blahs!! i will only be living my life studying and not having fun?!?! blahs!! no fun! nvm..

so people out there take care! hope you guys will enjoy your life to the fullest! and try taking things the easier way! like how i have today! i made up my mind! i will listen to dina!! =P i forgive and forget. nvm!! no matter what i love all you guys! MUACKXXX!!!!

peace out!

E.von.NE

my life.. my rules..

2005-05-11T23:15:00.000-07:00

i am sick and tired of my schedule... i hate being rnd always!!!! argh!! nvm..

finally mastered tong hua on my piano!! hahas!! luckily got scores... haixx... the song.. difficult siaz.. =XX no larhs.. lazy to learn.. nvm.. but i did it!! oh yea!!!

im tired of exams.. let see.. we have so many exams.. but.. tell me.. how does it realli benefit us when we go out to the society??!! i mean.. watever were learning are just skills.. that we can choose to use or not in the future.. i mean.. wat if we do not use them.. let take some examples.. people out there.. bout 50% of the entreprenuers DO NOT have good results back then.. argh!! but.. aiyahs!! i realli dun understadn y are we supposed to study so hard.. to me.. ok.. im so sorry but.. its a waste of time?!?! =XX nvm..

people said i shldn blame him.. that its over.. that i shuldn care bout it anymore and let bygones be bygones.. but heys.. i suffered so hard.. my eyes are dried by the tears.. and im supposed to let it go.. i worse than anyone out there.. i cant just let this go.. im sorry.. ive gone thru so much.. u guys wont noe wat im going thru anyway.. i suffered... i got stabbed so many times..wat u guys noe? im sorry.. i was torned into pieces...

suddenly i wish tml nv come.. i noe tml wont be a good dae.. i noe tml they will all go to that... nvm.. i just hate tml! i hate the schedule of mine.. i just wanna breakaway.. nvm... all i want is my trip to orchard later...

piss out..

oh my gosh!!!

2005-05-10T05:40:00.000-07:00

hahas!! EXAMS ARE OVER!!!! hahas!! i mean the imp. ones!! hahas!! omg!! this rawks manx!!! hahas!

went to jame's house todae.. on the way there.. ok.. as normal.. ABIT of noise made larhhs~~ =P then.. got one uncle.. "SHURRUP! YOU ALL ARE GIRLS. TALK AND TALK!" hahas!! i mean.. WHATEVER!! its none of his business~ =XX

then at jame's house!! omg!! its so darn fun!! hahas!! we spent QUALITY time with each other!! hahas!! its super cool!! played loads of games while waiting for the rain to stop so that we can play in the playground.. =X

oh yea!! we played "bluff" hahas!!! jolyn lost like with more than half the deck with her?!?! hahas!! how cool is that?!?! =XX ahhas!!

yea!! rain finally stopped and we went to the playground.. the place had the swings.. u noe the superman kind?!?! hahas! ok.. we call it superman swing!! hahas! okiex.. so.. jamie and adina went on it.. hahas!! rawks mans!! hahas!! had so much fun there!! =Pp

when we were about to leave.. we dedicated two songs to padey!! hahas!! ehs.. one was LONELY fro AKON and another was SHUT UP from SIMPLE PLAN! hahas!! the chorus onli though but it was totalli cool!! hahas!! and his clique sang it for us too!! hahas!! jolyn recorded it in her hp!! jame adina and ger who were not there can go listen!! hahas!! so nice!!

cant wait for friday!! we will have our klass sub-outing at west coast!! =PP ahahs!! gonna enjoy mans!! hahas!! BOND pPL BOND!! WEE!!!

oh yea.. now.. private matters!! hmmz.. i onli can say that.. i will try my best.. work overtime.. to make him suffer as much as he made me suffer.. he killed the soul in me.. and now my life is ruined.. my future is blurred.. is all cuz of that pathetic guy.. nvm.. im sure.. he's so gonna crash.. DOWN.. i hate him.. i so hate him..

hahas! nvm.. oh eya.. hahas!! geraldine!! if u reading this entry!! help me change blogskin ok?? =PP i noe u very free now!! hahas!! cuz i very sians liaos.. hahas!! mus change liaos.. hahas! i dunno how to change blogskin.. bit no hope larhs.. fine. =) kks.. tat's all i guess~~

hating u.. still hating u.. gonna hate u forever..
u ruined my life.. my future.. i hate u..

heys..

2005-05-09T04:38:00.000-07:00

im not depressed! im not suffering from depression!! y does everyone think so??!?! im not!!! argh!!! please larhs! if im depressed i wont be like... ahhhhh!!! nvm!! im just not depressed ok?!?! leave me alone!!

just watch a movie in HBO.. " love dont cost a thing" yepp.. a movie.. not tt j.lo song.. yea.. real nice.. hmmz.. brief explanation.. wanna watch it.. find it..

nerdy guy.. tired of his life..
paid $1500 to a popular gal to make him popular.
hung out with her for 2 weeks.
gal fell for her.
he din care
broke up with her after 2 weeks.
still had his reputation.
gal couldnt take it. spilled the beans.
popularity had a steep fall.
found himself in a puddle of shit.
yepp.. went back to that gal.
THE END.

hmmz.. just v v brief.. wanna watch it jus go find it larhs.. yepps... like other movies.. this made me cry too.. fine.. i noe wat ure thinking.. shuddup..

ok.. so.. agane.. I AM NOT DEPRESSED!! NEITHER AM I SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION!! STOP TELLING ME I AM! I HATE IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!

get lost man...get lost... i hate u.. i still hate u...

blahs~~

2005-05-07T01:10:00.000-07:00

told sarah.. hais.. i am mentally ill.. hahas~ y suddenly become like that lehs? hahas~ oh well~ hahas!! mid year.. hais.. hope i can get better than ca1 bahhs~ hais.. dunno wat to blog these few days.. hahs~ i wanna go to orchard to get ez $$ i wanna join perfect 10 series of DARES!! hahas! imagine eating an apple drnched in someone's armpit juice?! hahas! but money is the objective larhs.. duh!! lalala!!

im still not over money yet!! hahas! dunno lehs.. let me explain my theory of money~ =D ppl might not agree larhs.. but. yea.. its me.. hmmz.. well.. first i came to earth.. and tt cost MONEY.. which then gradually made me a child and the process cost more of MONEY than LOVE cuz i dun think i ever had LOVE from anyone when i was young.. then when i grow up... become more realistic..or materialistic.. and all these require me to have MONEY.. and i wanna be RICH and by doing so..i have to have MONEY.. and so.. if u want back LOVE..u need to have MONEY.. cuz althought its fake.. MONEY wont make u feel lonely anymore.. =) yeppx.. thats my perpective..

so.. yeppx.. blog next time.. tata!!

me? yea me!

2005-05-04T05:20:00.001-07:00

i am going to fail my english badly mannxx~ wat the heck have i done! hahas! i dun even noe wat i was doing~ hhas! =X hmmz.. nvm bahhs~~ dun fail can liaoss~~

lalala!!!! i dunno why am i blogging.. i haven studied!! i dun have protractor~~ how am i going to sit for exams tml?? hahas! i dunno!! its geog paper. gonna fail manx~~ everyone is studying now~~ except for.. me? hahas! gone case larhs me~~ hahas!! =D

my life is quite sianx larhs now.. study.. and wat else? except for studying?? hahas! but i dun study.. so.. blahs!! so sianx now.. suddenly feel like going orchard.. hahas~ buy a roxy bag~ =X

oh yarhss.. i have something to tell myself.. and myy blogg~~

im afraid i will fall for him.. die.. hahas~ dunno bahhs~~ wat to do?? cannot cannot!! hahas!! nvm~~ hahas!! frens forever!!! lalala!!! hahas!!

so sianx.. tml geog.. haven study.. how to get into econs class~~ haiyos.. my ambition,. my future~~ ahhh!! hahas~~ treat as class test.. treat as class test~~ =X haiyoyo!! dunno wat to write liaoss~~ tata!!

dreaming of me~

me? yea me!

2005-05-04T05:20:00.000-07:00

heys...

2005-05-02T18:44:00.000-07:00

hiyox... hmmz.. its quite boring here.. in the comp lab.. its super warm in here.. hais.. had maths just now.. found that im lagging behind.. too much.. haix.. if onli i can be clever larhs.. haix.. although.. its hard work that is going to pay off.. =
my cousins just returned to china.. haix.. why the hell would they even be in china.. husband from new zealand.. wife from singapore.. big bro born in singapore.. younger bro in malaysia~ its going global! but.. heys.. why not? i rather be someone who has the whole world as a home.. being to all parts of the world.. seeing each and every places.. studied everywhere! experience graduating in US! heys! i want that! i mean.. i always wanted to be borned in US study in US lead my life in US~ why the hell am i in singapore.. this aint my home manx.. ive nv treated this place as a home.. i wanna get out of here.. haix.. let fate do all this..

hmmz..

2005-05-01T01:38:00.000-07:00

hmmz.. regarding the comments.. im not sure who wrote it.. but.. he/she did say that i was .. pathetic? well.. i might agree with that but.. by putting your nickname and giving a comment like that.. lets see.. who the pathetic one here? im not tryin to insult you. but i kindly wanna noe whos the one writing the comment. cuz i mean. u gotta take the responsibility of your own words.. right? and for people who are critisizing the person who commented.. thanks.. and no thanks.. i mean.. he/she might be meaning it. and i take it.. with no hard feelings. i mean. wats life without these kinda stuffs? =)

so.. yars.. whoever u are.. if u wanna continue commenting your comments i my blog.. kindly tell me hu u are yars? thanx.. and yeppx.. agaane.. no hard feelings.. =)

chill!

ah choo!!!

2005-04-29T05:40:00.000-07:00

im sick.. blahs!! sneeze every two minutes.. =\ real real sick.. cant take it manx.. blahs! oh well...

todae.. i found that all 6 of us are living in a sadistic world. a world of sorrow and pain. everyone of us might seem happy, joyful. all of us are deeply wounded inside. i do not blame any of us for not caring for each other again. i just want to help. im recovering, i hope. this is just a nightmare for me. the wall had been smashed by us, by me. i wanna build them all up again. with all of you. i want this wall of ours to be stronger than anything else. no one can break it. no guys, no anything!

ger and sarah? i hope they are doing fine. both of them are once just so close. just because of ccas and its gone? nah, too fast. jamie, she's the most respectable one in all of us. i respect her with all my heart and soul. she's got this attitude that i admire. she seems so blur at times but. to me, she seems to know it all. in her heart. adina. she learns to let go. jolyn. i owe her so much. im truly sorry.

i just got back my chinese test. 29/50. what a result. blah! my chinese is getting from bad to worse! blah! nvm. take my rest now. ahhhhh choooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

lar??

2005-04-28T03:54:00.000-07:00

hmmz.. todae.. wasnt a real good day alrhs~ oh well.. nvm.. hmmz.. i went to mac wif sarah to stardi larhs~ well.. wif patrick too~~ somehow~ hahas~ his vocab super pro larhs~ specially this few words larhs~ "chee bye" "fuck la" hahas! how cool is tat~ he is doing quite well in BMC larhs~ tell me he is like.. TOP pupil in BMC? hahs! oh well~ hmmz.. learnt something todae too!

never judge a book by its cover..

some people might look bad.. look untidy.. look like some baddy.. but.. u nv noe.. some stuffs juz cannot be seen with a naked eye. it is easy to make a casual friend, juz have a cup of tea, chat a little, play a little, and tada! a friend made.. but a true friend takes a long time. to really find one, both have to go through hardship, experience joy and tears together. this might seem cliche.. but.. u might think that this might not be the only way to judge if a person is a true friend.. u might think u have a true friend with u.. but.. wat if suddenly, when something bad happen to u, and they juz walk away, saying they will wait for u up ahead? think twice people. ive seen too many casual friends. too many that i wanna get out of this and juz find a true friend.. so many people walk out on me everyday. if i shed tears everytime this happen, i would have cried many times. suddenly, i admire metinee and her group of friends.. although stuffs happened are very small. i can see they stand for each other. for e.g someone in the group is caught for having no collar badge, got caught by a teacher, the rest will simply take theirs off and get the equal scoldings.. no questions asked. u might think this is childish. but think about it. if someone were to do this for you, how will you feel?

for me, i only see people waiting for me if i ever get caught for these small little things. they find that they have much bigger things to worry about. much important stuffs to handle. why on earth should they care? i am just a shadow in their life. somehow u can juz forget about then when u suddenly walk under the sun ALONE and find a shadow missing then u ask yourself, where's evonne? that is my life. im treated this way. you cant blame me having attitude problem. thats cuz i dun feel the frenship in any of u ppl? sometimes i juz like being with the guys. thats cuz they are true~ they dun have tt pretence in them. they might not think before they speak. but thats cuz stuffs juz come out of their mouth from the heart, its pure. the mind's too complicated. you think before u speak, things u say will be modified. there will be this coat of pretence painted on it.

maybe my life is juz like that. i am not giving up.. still looking for a true friend..

shush!

2005-04-25T06:57:00.000-07:00

shit!!! something wrong is happening to me... i keep thinking of someone whom i dun noe... the person is juz a person~ i seriously dun noe him.. my mind is telling me that this person is hating me.. and i like that person loads.. and i feel unwanted... shit.... wat is wrong wif me.. y is this happening to me?! i feel so unwanted now... i am going crazy.. my tears are rolling out like no one's business... i am suddenly sweatng like no one's business.. i am going crazy.. wat is wrong wif me?! i think im seriously unwatned by everyone... shit... fuck!

i ahte u people.. i hate the person.. i hate myself.. i hate everyone.. i hate this life of mine.. y am i feeling this way.. wat is wrong wif me? i am going crazy every minute... no one can save me... ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! freak shit!!!! i cant take it anymore!!! get out of my head! of my mind!!! get lost!!! ahhh!!!! help! nononoo!! wat is this?! wsats going on?!??!! no..... no..!!!! freak shit!

well...

2005-04-25T04:50:00.000-07:00

hmmz.. todae.. was quite an ok day larhs~~ i mean.. yea... went skool...got quite alot of test results.. hahas~ some pass some fail alrhs~ wat can i sae =D hmmz.. then.. realised poo poo is realli realli kuku!! hahas!! XD oh well..

todae.. in mac.. the few of us played a game called bluff~ we tried hard to get each other's stuffs without letting the person noe larhs~ kinda stuffs~ and sa-bo ppl and things~ well.. we had quite a lot of fun.. but.. i learnt a great thing from there...

life.. full of bluffs.. get bluffed or u bluff.. no matter wat.. hatred is included... and everytime something is missing.. we suspect.. and look into other ppl.. no matter they like it or not.. cuz it is your stuffs which is missing.. not theirs.. not even asking u jump into conclusions.. well.. yars.. tt's how life goes huh?? oh well..

todae she returned to her group of frens.. real happy for her~ she is not sad anymore =) hahas~ well.. there is alwaes a solution to every problem.. and they found the solution~ now.. its the sweet sensation.. hmmz.. although.. i might have one less fren to talk to or anything but.. she found her frens~ =) so.. its ok~ =) hahas~

i put my mind at ease at last.. stuffs are starting to fall into place somehow.. although not all alrhs.. but.. yars.. at least im feeling better.. hmmz.. i realli like the way we are... the whole lot of us.. hope we can remain like tt yars?

and.. well.. to the people whom u noe im referring to.. whether ure looking at my blog or not.. do not make use of me.. im sick of doing the same old thing over and over agane.. i am not a bridge of communication..

?

2005-04-23T00:28:00.000-07:00

fame... hu dont want them? popularity.. hu hates having them? hu wants to be normal? onli normal people wants to..

i have to leave, i cant stay
i'd be free, i'll do things my way
i don't wanna cry
for juz a dumb guy
i wanna leave, i cant wait
i have to go, before its too late

great.. i make this clear.. i am not ok.. i am going crazy.. this world is spinning too fast.. stuffs are happening too fast.. well.. im slow.. i cant take news too fast~ ok?! so.. im sorry.. i cant take it.. i still feel betrayed.. although i assure u i got over him.. i juz wanna breakaway.. i hate this world.. ok? im truly sorry.. i cant get over it.. and nothing can make me get over it.. cuz the news been in my head.. and its the fact... sorry..

im a bitch.
im hated.
im despicable.
im lowdown.

im so tired and lost
always alone
always crying
always another part of me dying
i hate this life i cannot bear the pain and sorrow
i was the one
i has it all
all my friends and all the laughs
all my family and all the love
the day i stopped i found myself
alone and tired
i am dying ad none gives a fuck

i am alone in a nitemare.. of never ending dreams..

love me hate me for all i care.. i am dying.. the whole world is..

hmmz..

2005-04-22T06:36:00.000-07:00

will there ever be rainbow in the dark? i wonder.. these are the kinda miracles i wish would happen.. there arae so many miracles happening.. but why juz none happen to me.. i am crashing to the ground..falling flat.. no one there to help.. no one there to listen.. why is my life becoming like that? i wonder...

written one stupid poem during cme...

trees, like parents
seems to be there forever and ever
flowers, like friends
so beautiful, but how long will they last?
butterflies, like time
come and go in a blink of an eye
grass, like me
looking strong but so weak inside

i juz want a normal life... no popularity.. no fame.. no nothing~ i juz wanna get on with life.. normally.. please.. anyone understand me? anyone even CARE to understand me.. everyone has their problems.. then who can actually hear me out?!

looking at pictures.. i cry...
the once good frenship is soon to die...

i hate this thing happening.. but i juz cant take it.. i cant.. i dun understand why the heck am i doing all these.. to please all~ i am human too! i cant stand it! dun expect me to pose a smile in front of u guys.. let me tell u i wont!!

u guys make the whole klass turn against her.. she is human too.. put yourself in her shoes! its juz a misunderstanding.. can u guys juz sit down and talk it out~!? its juz a personal group conflict.. y involve the whole klass?! that's lowdown i tell u! she is human.. she needs some space and respect.. dun respect her.. your problem..she has her own rights.. stop doing this to her.. dont make people dislike her too..

friends are everywhere.. some friends are made by juz a bang on a shoulder and apologizing.. a cup of coffee.. and these friends will always end up being in the runaway group when u meet problems.. other friends are those whom u come across maybe one in ten years? they are people will will stnad by u.. listen to u.. and no matter what happens to u.. they assure u that the are there for u.. and whenever u get punished or scolded..they try ways to make themselves involve too.. juz as to let u have lesser punishment.. these are true friends~~ so far.. unfortunately.. in my 14 years of life.. i haven met one true fren.. maybe i have a few.. but i missed them.. they juz walk past my life.. and i din realise.. maybe they are still in my life.. and i have yet to realise them.. nvm...

my life have never been worse..

haix...

2005-04-21T08:09:00.001-07:00

wtf manx!! wat world is this.. so fake.. so darn fake!!! juz break the whole group up larhs! not like i care!! its worse then normal frens larhs~ so much pretence.. so many lies~ juz break the whole thing! why muz i bear wif ppl's noise~ from morning u guys play til the end of skool~ dun u feel tired? of all the noises? i do!! like.. we're 14? this is childish! so childish!! like.. cant take it larhs?! u think its funny? or amusing? or amazing? let me tell u!! stop fantasizing larhs!!! argh! juz forget bout the whole thing manx..

we tell each other bout our stuffs? personal stuffs? NO!
we listen to each other's preblems? NO!
we try to care and help each other out? NO!
we clear misunderstandings when there is any? NO!
we realli take those meetings and gathering into heart? NO!
we say stuffs out clearly whenever there is any problems? NO!!!

All these are a no! those meetings.. u guys agreed that u guys will be more serious.. when on earth after tt were u guys seriously listening to each other?! when on earth will u guys ever shut up and listen?!!!??!!!!! i like cant take it larhs!! where on earth wil i find a fren? a true one?! fuck larhs!!!! assholes! i am treated like some shit larhs! to all of u.. i am like thos no need de larhs! those can anytime have attitude prob de!! have u ever wondered yourself? why do i actualy show attitude? WHY SHOULD I RESPECT OTHERS WHEN I AM NOT RESPECTED?! i am sick of this larhs!!! so sick!!!!

i cant take this larhs! i am undergoing this stupid stuff.. and there is this unknown stress (definitely not studies) that i am feeling.. i dunno wat it is~ but i juz can feel it larhs! its like.. i juz feel like running to the washroom and shour my lungs out!

STOP THOSE PRETENCE!!!! i hate u people!! i so hate u guys!!!! freak shit!!! we were not even supposed t be together.. we are the loners kind.. stop commenting on others!! comment on yourself first!!!!!!!! juz stop laughing!!!! cant u feel the sadness? the pretence? wats the use for hiding all them wif some stupid laughter?! it wont help!! get a life!!!! i ahte u people!!! stop lying larhs!!! these lies are driving me crazy... shit u!!!!

haix...

2005-04-21T08:09:00.000-07:00

heys~

2005-04-19T05:15:00.000-07:00

hahas!! yoyox!! todae was like..totalli sai larhs!! had common test and like.. confirm get 0 kind!! like seriously larhs! hahas!! cuz its like someone who's from the jungle suddenly reads a book larhs~ DUN UNDERSTAND ANYTHING AT ALL!! ahhas!! nvm~~ if i get more than 5 marks~ hahas~~ oh well!

todae after common test went to the washroom.. one of my frens was crying.. she broke down.. she cane take it anymore.. she felt the pretence.. she felt it all.. long time ago.. but she onli let it out now.. i see myself in her.. why muz we go thru all these pretence.. look at other ppl's faces~ knowing that its darn fake.. but chose to believe in them.. she knew the thing in her head was juz wat she think..its herself.. but..she chose to believe it.. she broke down.. juz like how i did.. do those ppl outside understand stuffs individuals are going thru? juz the basic thing.. your fren have something stuck in his/her teeth.. would u tell her? to prevent embarrassment when she sees her crush or anyone else? its juz the basics~ and if u cant.. forget bout it.. and let me tell u guys~ stop pretending.. the make up u guys are putting will soon juz come off.. and sooner or later.. ur true self will be seen.. and then u leave ur frens.. your spouse~ juz cuz u think they change?! no! its juz tt ur starting to see their real self.. something tt they din show u right at the beginning~ y cant they? cuz they want fame! popularity! attention! to cover up they flaws! thats all!

after school went to mac.. knew four sec one guys~ adil..khairul..and two.. forgotten their names larhs~ hahas! they like super cute~ so far the best sec 1s ive seen.. good alrhs~~ nowadays sec 1 like super stuck up larhs~ think tt the whole sch belongs to them.. ehs.. ^.- then its like the tradition in css is like 1/4 forever the most on and noctorious class de larhs~~ from even as long as 3 to 4 years ago larhs~~ then.. now?? super nerdy!! retarded larhs!! kuku klass! spoil the whole reputation of so many previous batches of 1/4.. sian diaos!! hahas!! =X nvm.. lalala!!

missing: 2
liking: ??
going to miss: 1
hating: infinity

heys~

2005-04-18T05:21:00.000-07:00

yox.. i mean.. pai sae larhs~ for my last post.. was like.. real pissed larhs~ but.. nvm.. =.=" hmmz.. i juz like.. yar.. the whole thing was.. aiya..nvm..

todae had another meeting.. or gathering.. wateva~ yea~ den.. hmmz.. ger dun seem v interested larhs~ but.. i juz want her to noe tt we realli care larhs~ i mean.. i dunno bout them seriously lar.. but.. i seriously do care larhs~ i mean.. i dun wann her to go nus high school or njc.. cuz.. i realli dun wanna lose such a good fren like her.. i might be like selfish larhs~ but.. she realli one fren i dunw anna forget or lose larhs~ geraldine arhs~~ if u reading larhs! u are realli a good fren larhs~ and i dun wan u to get hurt nd stuffs larhs~ so.. do me a favour..do us a favour..do urself a favour.. forget bout him? try? pls..

haix.. todae was quite an ok day larhs~ morning like super sian larhs~ then after skool~~ b4 remedial.. locked wei zheng up in a classroom~ and he was like an animal larhs~ in a zoo~ hahas~ but dunno how he got out alrhs~ then he rushed to remedial~ =X hahas! then after remedial~ helped the express stdent wif their unfinished hw.. then went to mac~~ hahas~~ then went home by taking 176~~ hahas~~ saw ppl playing soccer!! hahas~ lllaa!! oh well~~ ahas~~ then.. todae~~ hahas~~ bit sleepy.. tired alrhs~~ hahas~~ oh well~~ lalala!!!

frenx out there.. frenx are important part of our lives.. imagine living without frenx.. its real hard larhs.. real tough.. so.. treasure them.. they might juz leave u.. or suddenli become another person overnight~ so.. treasure them when u still have them the way they are~~ =) peace everybody! =D

missing: 1
loving: 0
thinking: 2
having: 0
needing: 0
falling for: 1
hating: infinity~

fuck shit!

2005-04-16T21:55:00.000-07:00

heys.. yesterdae was quite boring larhhs~~ end before time de~~ then css din win.. hmmz.. but.. maybe not enuff power larhhs~~ but still can win next year de~~ jia you yars?? hmmz. . thee few days darn ass larhs!! wat kinda life do i have larh? dun even have a true fren... wat can i sae? the three gals yest was so much better than the rest larhs~ at least they are like.. nvm.. fuck shit larhs! dun get the truth of everything! fucking hell lar.. dun sae dun sae la.. dun even bother to tell me la! i dun have to noe.. and neither do i wanna noe.. so.. forget bout it manx.. forget bout it..

heyheys!!!

2005-04-10T20:16:00.000-07:00

hahas!! today's a monday!! and im in the com lab!! got to use com!! hahas!! how cool is that? ehs.. todae will be a very busy dae.. cuz i am going to stay back for soooo many things.. have to copy two chinese articles.. cuz i din finish my hw.. =( and have remedials.. and have to finish my chi hw!! i hate chi!! hahas!! cuz i suck at it.. nvm~~ lalala!! hahas!! my hp still have to $$ have to send msgs with unknown no. hahas!! and have to "steal" hp to msg.. blehx!! hahas!! unfair lar!! im going broke!! hahas!! i wan a plan!!!! ahhh!!!! nvm... hmph!! todae had napfa.. hahas!! aimed for all e!! and i got them!! hahas!! good enuff liaos!! hahas!! 2.4 next week maybe?? aim for E!!! hahas!!! next mondae and wed have morning run for netball.. sianx!!!! blehx!! BORING!! com lessons rules!! hope i can see better after skool~~!! hahas!! *u guys dunno wat i mean!! =P*
i rawk! lalals!! DAM ET!

booo!!!

2005-04-07T23:56:00.000-07:00

yoyox!! hahas!! so long nv update le!! juz now updated and the whole thing went missing!!! ahhh!! perhaps wat i typed shldn be blogged up.. hahas!! ehx.. my com sent for servicing!!! dun have cpu now!! sho sad!! hahas!! hmmz.. wat if.. wat if... i like him?!?! hahas!! blahx!! u dunno hus the him!! lalala!! wat am i doing!! nvm~~ hhas!~ ehx.. wat can i sae.. v v v sian~~ and bit happi larhss~~~ found a com~~ at jo's house!!! lalala!! ehx.. lets see.. yesterdae i saw!! i saw!!! i saw!! 2/4 class spirit!!! its out agane!! as a whole larhhs.. for individual there's much to do.. but.. ya.. good enuff le~~ hahas!! and.. ya!~ our class tee rocks!! hahas!! well.. i love 2/4 loads manx!! hahas!! teachers muz learn to appreciate us manx.. haiyoyo~~ hahas!! oh well.. wat can i sae.. this term i muz work hard.. dun care bout frenship stuffs liaos.. doesn concern me!! hahas!! lalala!! well.. i dunw anna be locked up in my bedroom crying for no reason agane anymore!! hahas!! lalalla!! ok.. so.. wun be updating unil my com come i guess!! so.. miss me ppl!!!!!! hahas!! tata!! =D

boo!!!

2005-04-07T23:40:00.000-07:00

hahas!! so long not blogging liaos~~ haiyox.. missed me??? hahas!! ehx.. these few days had been real hectic.. and ive realli been thinking.. well.. i mite realli realli like him larhhs.. but... dun wanna tell him.. its real scary.. i dunno.. maybe.. maybe... ahhhhh!!!! hahas!! nvm.. im going crazy.. blah blah!!! hahas!! todae i was wif jamie and guess hu i saw?!?!?! omadarling!!!! hahas!!! and guess wat i did?!?! lalala!! not telling u!! haiyos... i dunno.. i am a fickle-minded person.. not a good gal.. so.. forget it.. lalala!!! yesterdae was fun!! seen the class's spirit.. i mean as a whole.. not as individual larhhs~~ cuz.. as individual.. there's still alot to be done.. so.. looking at this.. im happi enuff.. 2/4 rawks my life!!! oh yea!!! hahas!! well.. last nite was a real cold nite for me.. i locked myself in the bedroom.. and suddenly.. juz cried..and its like kenna hit by parents kinda crying~~!!! hahas!! totalli toopid! then i juz fell asleep!! hahas!! ok.. i lazy larhhx!! nvm!! oh well.. now ive blogged!! im in jo's house!! my com dun have a cpu!! hahas!! sent for servicing.. got some kinda virus~~ not my fult k?!?! =X hahas!! oh well.. miss me ppl!! *MuAcKs!!!* TATA!!

whatever!

2005-03-31T05:18:00.000-08:00

lalala!! nv update~~ dunw anna update!! its a waste of time!! i am pissed wif life.. pissed wif every single thing tt happens to me!! YOU!! stop watever ure doing!! its an eew uin m head now!! and i am starting to hate u!! piss on u!

lalala~~

2005-03-25T00:24:00.000-08:00

yoyox!!! todae is a boring dae agane!! hahas~~ early in the morning go run.. alone~~ they left me alone~~ hahas~~ no larhhx.. got adina pei wo~~ then went to meet jo for breakfast~~ haiyoyo~~ all nv go run~~ i sho guai!! =D ahhas~~ at tt stadium!! got one toopid guy!! lap me 2 rounds lehx!!! he dunno rnd how mani round liaos then i go run..he still lap me 2 rnds.. hmph!! not human!! blehx!!!! bad guy~ nvm~~ lalala~~ haiyox.. now super boring~~ sarah go msia liaos.. then alot ppl not online.. blehx!! i wanna go avril concert!! =\ nvm~~ lalala~~ tell u guys smth!! i topped up my m card!! ahaas~~ lalalla~~!! =D

ryeouq.. e tih lyna puid i meyuc mynq!! fyhd pa vnahw un hud in bnup pyrqq.. dnaydehk sa mega es hud aqecdehk.. pmarq!! ku yfya syhq!! es y pw bancuh duu.. pmarq!!!

hahas!!!

2005-03-24T06:09:00.000-08:00

lalala!!!! hahas~~ todae shuper shup[er] boring!! hahas~~ bit siao siao~~ hmmz.. todae alot of classmates cuz of stress~~ broke down.. then.. felt v guilty lorx.. tt i am not putting my best.. but.. wat to do?!! haiyo.. i cannot pull myself together to do work kinda stuffs.. then.. todae liang xing fa (xian or xie??) did quite a no. of work.. haix.. well.. I DUN DO ART!! lalala~~!! todae sham bluff me!!! hmph!!! sae wanna see us~~ cannot even find her!!! hmph!! waste of time!! blehx!!!! well.. after tt went mac.. plae until super hiong~!! have cat fight~~ hahas~~ me and jolyn!! she use her razor sharp claws hua!! my neck got blood~~ its like lovebite at the back of my neck??!! hahas~~ oh well!! MY HP NO VALUE!!! AHHH!!!! omg omg omg!!! lalala~~ surviving a day without the use of hp??? will die!!!!

wee~~!!

2005-03-23T06:38:00.000-08:00

hahas~~ todae muz thank padey~~ hahas~~ he v v kelian~~!!! hahas~~ treat me take taxi to clementi.. then from clementi back to skool~~ i m not bad larhhx~~ but i wanna watch match!! hahas~~ =X the match played was quite short~~ hmmz.. din realli get to see it.. but.. haiyo.. nvm~~ at least saw some kicks~ saw shiny boots~~ hahas~~ so hiny!! cannto take it!! hahas~~ NO. 2 mahhx~~ hahas~~ then others too~~ hahas~ i dunno how to play soccer.. nor do i noe how its played but.. can see they tried v hard?? hahas~~ ok.. oh well.. then went home tt time saw char.. talked to her~~ heex~~ found out smth real funni in drama~~ someone is a ger's kor kor~~ hahas~~ *hair stands* hahas~~ lalala~~ hmmz~~ my hp going to no value le.. zhe me ban!!!! haiyo!!! cannot happen manx~!!!!!! =\ i wanna sms..=(

2005-03-21T03:51:00.003-08:00

SOME FRENX BU YAO YE BA LE!!! HAHAS!!! others can treasure de k!!??!! heex!! lalalala!!

2005-03-21T03:51:00.002-08:00

SOME FRENX BU YAO YE BA LE!!! HAHAS!!! others can treasure de k!!??!! heex!! lalalala!!

2005-03-21T03:51:00.001-08:00

SOME FRENX BU YAO YE BA LE!!! HAHAS!!! others can treasure de k!!??!! heex!! lalalala!!

2005-03-21T03:51:00.000-08:00

SOME FRENX BU YAO YE BA LE!!! HAHAS!!! others can treasure de k!!??!! heex!! lalalala!!

boo~!

2005-03-19T21:08:00.000-08:00

hahas~~ yoyoyox!!! shooooo sianx~~ at home!! blehx!!!! shooooo many hw haven finish~~ ahhhh!!!! hahas~~ ehx.. later going out~~ finally~~ wee~~!! hahas~~ unfinished business~~ hahas~~ but have to go out lahhx.. hahas~~ i feel so sianx~~ now still blur blur de~~ hahas~~ cannot bame.. juz woke up.. zzz~~ hhas~~ oh well.. it has been exactly a week le~~ still the same~~ hahas~~ blehx!! who cares~~ can become drama liaos~~ hahs~~ blehx!!! juz got a v v lusy mp3.. then.. i tot ttz all.. i wanna load the system inside.. but~~ ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!! the system too lan laios~~ my comp xp... urgh!!! idiotic!!! i want a new mp3!!!!! i want go complain!!!! boohoo!!! lalala~~ im crazy.. nvm~~ tta~~!!

well..

2005-03-19T02:49:00.000-08:00

heyheys~~ sho sorry ppl~~ nv update 4 sooooo long~~ ahas~~ well.. hmmz.. these few daes nv touch this guai4 guai4 comp liaox.. got emotions de~~ hahas~~ so.. muz treat it v nicely.. =D hahas~~ well.. watched two movies this week.. spongebob and lemony snicket's series of unfortunate events.. PATHETIC!! urgh!! the second movie sucks!! watched it wif my mum.. she wanted to watch it.. i mean.. the show is totalli.. BORING!!! hahas~~ wanted to watch hitch.. but.. cant watch it larxx.. wif my mum??? forget it~~ hahas~~ yea.. so.. ehx.. i dunno y lehx.. i still got those dreams manx.. hahas~~ so guai~~ so long le.. bout 6 daes le bahh~~ hahas~~ guai... muz go psychologist liaox~~ hahas~~ =D now i got sooooo much hw not done.. how?!?!?!?! hahas~~ tml pia bahhx`~ hahas~~ but.. dun think can larhhx.. 2 book reviews?? ahas~~ i tired of being so hardworking le.. hahas~~ its like.. march?? pia??? then to think tt i will be studying for 20 over years of my life.. i think i will die soon~~ hahas~~ so many ppl die each year.. might be me in one of the years b4 i even reach 20.. hahas~~ haiyo.. todae slep for 12 hours.. woke up at 11.. still v sleepy larhhx~~ oh yea~~ i saw "stalking" adin yesterdae~~ i see him everywhere i go~~ somehow~ hahas~~ kuku manx~~ he worked real hard manx~~ hahas~~ so.. yea~~ tata~~!!

blahx..

2005-03-16T02:28:00.000-08:00

last nite was a good dream... it felt so real.. but of course.. i realised it wasnt when i woke up.. i cant believe we WERE such good frenx.. oh well... now.. im composing some kuku songs~~ hahas~~ to pass time.. he is no longer tt big issue in my life anymore.. neither is he the cover page of my "mag".. hahas~~ he's juz a fren i wanna get back.. but.. hhaas~~ oh well.. let nature take its course~~ haas.. juz todae have i found out tt i am not a successful fren.. at first.. i see 7 ppl im utterly disappointed in.. then.. to think of it.. me.. bein their fren.. cant help them.. thus making them a disappointment.. ok.. so.. its mua fault.. well.. im sorry guys.. selfishness.. not being trust-worthy... not being pure in heart... not being forgiving.. is juz the outcome of not having a good enuff fren.. = me. im not indirectly trying to pin-point on frenx.. or ppl out there reading my blog.. but.. heys.. isn this wat a fren is supposed to be?? trust-worthy..care and share.. being true... forgive and forget.. i mean.. its the basics rite?? maybe.. in this country like singapore.. there aint such person around.. i dare not sae im a person who noes it all.. but.. heys.. there are true frens.. out there.. as in seriously true.. u wont have to care how u look in front of them.. how u dress.. something stuck in ur teeth.. rest assured they will tell u straight.. no hard feelings.. but watx this ppl?? singapore?? do u find this kinda fren??unless like wat? u known her from the dae u started skooling til now?? and nv leave each other more than a nite?? maybe sg is juz too real.. too materialistic.. i rather slp my life away.. where onli in there.. can i find the true frens i wanna know.. onli in my dreams.. will i feel the existence of myself..

hmmz...

2005-03-12T20:16:00.000-08:00

heys ppl... sorry for not updating.. quite alot of stuffs happen to me.. hmmz.. i feel tt i love slping.. i dun wanna wake up at all.. cuz.. onli in my dreams were we good frenz agane.. onli in my dreams..i live my life.. haix.. there is alwaes this.. unexpainable thing in reality.. i hate reality.. i hate real world.. its soooo cruel... juz..too real.. =\ haix.. nvm... i will learn to be... ok =) haix.. he seem so cold.. alwaes.. nowadaes... its mua fault.. pai sehx... haix.. wei she me zhe yang zi~~!! =X jay chou suddenly rawks`~ lalala.. dunno wat i talking bout.. =\

counting down..

2005-03-10T07:13:00.000-08:00

i despise people..

2005-03-08T05:41:00.000-08:00

my ear's bleeding.. not the external part.. the one inside.. it hurts... how cool is tt... suddenly.. i juz love blood so much... im feeling down... im tired... my ankle still hurts... lots... i hate people... i hate betrayers... HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I HATE BETRAYERS!!!!!!!!! it is 3 days to my burfday.. n i feel like everything suck... everyone suck... i hate all of u... u people wont understand.. call yourself frenz of mine... juz crap...all crap.... get lost... i rather be alone... let blood be wif me.... ttz enuff... i dun need u people anymore... i am lifeless... who needs frenz when all u have is wat u need... i have blood...

dra uhmo naycuh fro e ys tuehk dryd du so ryht ec liw ed ec dra uhmo fyo du vunkad oui...ed ec dnia...

BETRAYERS!!! GET LOST!!! I HATE ALL OF U!!! PRETENCE!!! ALL PRETENCE!!!

=D

2005-03-07T06:20:00.000-08:00

i am gonna stay happi no matter wat.. i noe i can still feel the pain in me.. but. i have to stay happy.. i musnt let him affect my mood for the entire day.. feel the pain..show it out at home.. no use bringing out in skool..it will also bring unhappiness to frenx.. its not good.. i muz stae happy~~ be crazy ..watever~ i juz dun wanna be the moody me... =D hahas!!!! lalalla~~ wee!! hahas~~ i wont break down if i laugh...i wont get jealous when i see them... i wont feel the pain in me when im alone... i wont juz squat down laughing and suddenley cry everything out... i wont juz show my attitude problem suddenly and start screaming around...i wont...i wont... i will stay happy forever.. i am perfectly fine people... i am.. hahas!!! =D believe me ya?? i rawk!! wahahaha!!!

haix... wats wrong wif me manz...

2005-03-04T06:11:00.000-08:00

heys... haix.. i feel so... so sianx... i realli realli fell too deep le.. i wanna climb up..but cant... =( i realli like him too much le.. but.. i cant.. i m not supposed to... the deeper i fall.. the greater the impact is... i dun wanna get injured... so.. i have to find someone to pull me up... oh gosh!! haix... i wanna study.. i wanna make my first priority to studies.. i can slack anymore.. everyone is working so hard...onli me...oh gosh~~ wat am i gonna do.. =\ haix... die...die~~!!!!

so pendrtya fecr ec jano cesbma...pid ed fuhd rybbah.. edc hud dra gehty fecr frelr e fyhd ic du pa dukadran.. edc ziw.. hjs.. cehla ed fuhd rybbah.. fro lyna... ryeq... e naymme mega i!! inkr!!

... sad...

2005-03-03T05:24:00.000-08:00

heys... i am feeling emotional now... songs have made me feel worse... wat has happened to me?! i am feeling jealous every minute...i cant... its my fault... yes.. totalli.. yes... sorry.. apologizing aint enuff.. but... =\ i mean... theres one way to give up on u... juz tell me straight~~ i will... definitely.. let go... juz tell me manz... chang tong bu ru duan tong... im sorry... =( i am realli fallin too deep... im realli liking u too much... someone pull me out... or i will juz fall deeper.. and one dae if he finalli said that phrase... i will juz fall to the 18th level of hell... so i rather u sae it earlier.. tt i can juz let go now.. =( no matter wat... god bless u yea?? =) take care~

dyga lyna uv ouin fuiht... fuiht haatc nacdehk desa du raym xielgan... cu.. i raym ouin fuiht..yht e'mm raym seha... so raynd'c pnugah...

no..no...

2005-03-01T05:39:00.000-08:00

no..no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no... i felt so helpless... the world is against me... i have no strength to play wif it anymore.. juz let me go.. let me fall... i cant take it no more... the world is not a suitable for me.. bring me down...meet the ppl.. they mite understand me more.. im getting crazy every minute... i will go insane anytime.. ppl.. pls...i beg u.. get awae from me... i cant take it anymore.. get awae... i am jinxed...

traumatized me...

2005-02-28T19:14:00.000-08:00

heys... i m so sorry... that incident juz cant get out of my head..im so sorry... i could have prevented all of that to happen...i am sorri.. its all my fault.. im sorry... im sorry... everyone could be juz fine if it werent for me...me...im realli sorry.. no one understands...i will juz be ok when im in school...i will be... my frens care...i wont let them worry.. im sorry ppl..im sorry... its my fault.. im sorry.. im sorry.. its my fault...i din mean it.. im sorry...

lalala~~ blehx!

2005-02-26T20:39:00.000-08:00

haiyo..went thru stuffs dat i din do...realised that i v lan..yest tt talk.. aiming for option b..the one wif econs..haix..if onli i can get in.. =.= haix... oh.. i somehow told magical.. and reaction was not v big..cuz i acted like it was a joke somehow..ya..i want the whole thing to get over and done wif..i wanna concentrate on my studies..i wanna get into econs class..i dun wanna plae arnd anymore.. i needa study..i cant waste my time playing anymore.. my future depends on this thing... i gotta study..yes..study... ger my ou xiang le~~ hahas~~ so... ppl who wanna sms me for nth.. i mite not reply as i seriously need to study sometimes~~ sory~~ =) ppl going for jeremy's gathering can tell me? then i tell u wat to bring for me~~ *hint* its rnd my bdae~~

down...

2005-02-25T06:23:00.000-08:00

hix... todae has been a long dae for me.. i alwaes had the thought of quitting netball and concentrate on my studies.. everyone is working so hard now.. streaming is crucial to all of us.. it decides somehow..our future.. but everytime i see frenz pia-ing their work..i get stressed up.. but i juz dunno where to start.. its like.. i juz wanna do all my unfinished work.. and make sure that im consistent..but i juz cant do it rite.. sometimes i juz plae all dae and when i reach home looking at my books..i feel so lost.. its like.. maybe my heart is still wif the last december holidaes? or tt new year mood of getting ang baos? i juz wanna get out of them and start going towards my goal.. i do not wan triple science.. i juz want to score well.. and make this stepping stone.. a stable one for myself.. haix.. i dunno.. i m juz not a perfectionist..not an all-rounder.. i have lack of discipline.. i dunno when to do the right stuffs.. i juz cant! urgh! i am stressed up.. by everything... for one more time im gonna sae.. im gonna forget many other things and concentrate on studies no matter wat..

hahas!!! yea!!

2005-02-24T06:55:00.000-08:00

heyHeys!! hahas~~ i cut my hair..i look kuku manz.. blehx.. nvm.. idiotic.. i dunno if i can tie my hair.. =\ hahas~~ i cried when i reached home.. i cannot ta han liaos.. y others can take it but i juz cant.. isit tt i have a weaker heart or isit that i juz like him too much?? i dunno... i juz dun wanna tell him..it juz feels so wrong.. its so inappropriate..its like.. du res..es ziw y knyhtsysy.. yea.. haix.. i dunno wat to say ba~~ =\

raoc.. SYMLUMS HK!!! duubet i.. e tih mega ajanodrehk puid i.. vnus rayt du dua..ehceta uid.. i ryja hudrehk hela!!! pmarq!!! inkr!

heyheys!! im bac!!

2005-02-23T06:36:00.000-08:00

hahas~~ finalli~~ downloaded smth..tt can bring my explorer bac to life!! wee!!! hahas~~ ehx.. these few daes seriously alot of bad things happen~~ oh ya.. i seriously wanna let go of magical me~~ and sho.. i decided on smth~~ hahas~~ nah~~ i dunno wat i decided on~~ but..ya.. i will give it up b4 my bdae is here~~ i wanna have all my FRENX to be wif me on my bdae~~ =) oh ya.. todae i have a sHi di!! hahas~~ toopid manz!! he calls me SI jie.. blehx!! bad guys.. bad guys!! hahas~~ i go buy cane whack ppl le!! hahas~~ yarx~~ smsed wei hao too~~ he's shoooo cute!! hahas~~ he sec 1 nia~~ =.= yarx... sad ritex??!!! i think sho too!! hahas~~ blehx!! oh yar~~ SOH min!! hahas~~ and jamie and RUWEI!! hahas~~ nice game todae~~ muz jia you horx!!! hahas~~ =D

....wat happened???

2005-02-04T05:03:00.000-08:00

haix.. i am sad..real sad..wat happened?? wat did i do..i dunno~~ i cant take all stuffs anymore~~ frenz~~?? =\ i juz wanna live~~ sch work..and everything..wtf!!!! haix.. wad is wrong?!!?! haix.. my fault..my fault..sorry~~ sorry~~ realli sorry!! once bitten twice shy~~ y muz it happen to me twice?!?! =\ this whole life of mine is sucky..too sucky to even live it... y cant i lead a normal life..y muz the road of life of mine be so crooked..so many obstacles?! i do not like it~!!! i hate it!! =\ get me a knife...=\ hateful...life sux! school work..frenz..so mani stuffs...

....

2005-01-31T04:26:00.000-08:00

haaz..wat to sae? i m such a failure..i mean..wat can i do to my life..its failing like siao..i have some toopid grades for my hmt common test..49? hahas~~ ok..maths was alrite.. 38/40 haha~~ okiex..but the rest?? kns..hahas~~ okiex... i realli wonder...can a dude seriously like few gals...and treat them equalli? and...haix..dunno wat to sae lor~~ tml have match.. and im seriously tired..i cant take stuffs anymore..wat is happening manz.. hahas... i mean.. everydae i come back from skool..i feel so tired..feel like throwing everything behind..juz find somewhere and juz hide from the world...haix.. wat to do..haha..ppl got their happy ending..or searching for their happy ending..some enjoying their alone time..me?? im caught in the middle...all my msn nicks..hahas..i dun even noe hu im referring to..hahas~~

i dun wanna another pretty face..
i dun want juz anyone to hold..
i dun want my love to go awae..
i want u and ur beautiful soul..

ure the one i wanna chase..
ure the one i wanna hold..
i wont another minute go to waste..
i want u and ur beautiful soul~~

hahas~~ jesse mccartney~~ hahas~~ nice rite?? beautiful soul...its nice~~ =D

...sick~~

2005-01-24T19:00:00.000-08:00

hiz~~~ im sick~~ gosh~~ sick~~!!! haiyoz.. stilll have common test~~ but quite ok la~~ then later have geog test..wa...will die manz.. =| then haiyo..v tired...cant go for netball later..wa..sian lor.. miss dunno how many lessons liao.. =( haix.. wanna go for training lehx.. =| haix.. yest.. ok la..jurong ville vs css.. 1-32~~ easy..leng leng~~ hahas~~ but not v happy wif the results..shld have played betta.. =( haaz~~ ehz..now...wanna concentrate on loads of stuffs..dun have time on others..studies..piano..netball.. =| stressed by others too~ but wat to do.. na2 de2 qi3 yao4 fang4 de2 xia4~ hahas~~ okiex~~ haix.. v v sian..wat to do?? =| haix...my klass..haiyo..dunno how to xing rong~~ haix~~ argh!!! v stressed~~ hahas.. m&m rocks~~ not m&m choc of course~~ hahas~~ wee~! =D bleh!! ahhas~~ they rawk~!!

haiyo~~~

2005-01-20T05:32:00.000-08:00

haiyo~~ i am pissed~~ i am pissed by ppl's actions~~ wat wif ppl todae~~ ass~~ toopidly freaking~~ i hate u~~~!!!! i hate u all~~!!!! i basically hate more and more ppl each dae~~~~ argh~~!!! go awae~~~ stay away from me~~~ dun like u~~!!! maybe i hate u~~ argh~~!!!help~~ i dunno~~ y do i hate her so much..nth to do wif me.. y??!!!! argh~! i try to be nice~~ i try to smile at her~~ but.. i juz cant come out lar~~ argh! i hate everyone~~ i hate myself~~~ im tired.. physically..mentally.. stressed too.. i wanna breakawae~~~ i wanna find somewhere~~ go there and nv come back..forget everyone~~ no one needs me anyway.. no use.. im juz some toopid person everyone can live off wif.. argh~~ i hate this world~!

haix...

2005-01-18T22:01:00.000-08:00

yoyoz~~ hmmz.. i have totally mixed feelings...i dunno~~ im stressed~~ i dunno..the news bout tt thing shocked me somehow.. i dunoo..it wasnt suppose to shock me at all..i mean..i was suppose to know it somehow.. but.. i juz couldnt take it.. y did i feel like i couldn breathe?? when i read tt news.. haix.. i dunno~~ im going crazy soon.. loads of stuffs happenin rnd me.. they shouln be~~~ argh!!! i hate everything rnd me now~~~ argh!! i wanna run awae from this world.. i need to go somewhere where there seriously aint anyone..me alone~~ pls~ urgh!!! i cant take it~~~~ to hell wif everything~! go awae~~ i dun like u~~~~~ i dun like u all~~~~ argh!!!!!! i am not ready for zonals..im not ready to study..im not ready for stuffs coming my way~~ argh~~~ someone help.. =( *sobx* i wanna get out of this world....

haiyoz...

2005-01-17T05:57:00.000-08:00

hiz~~...haiyoz.. todae..third week...mondae... haix...well... i dunno... feelings?? pissed...tired... angry...sad... stressed up.... haix... y? cuz its the thired week.. and surprisingly..i cant stand myself working so hard..somtimes even ask myself why i am working so hard..for wat sake?? haix... and its like everytime i open a book telling myself i have to work hard..read it..absorb it.. and get good grades..but when i look at the book..i feel like throwing it on the floor and walk out of the classroom.. haix.. i dunno... =( and wats more~ i personally dun like the noticeboard in my klass..doubt we will get any prize for it.. i mean.. u sec 1 do this kind still have bit of standard...sec 2 le still de same.. alamak... its juz like throwing some papers against the board and stapling them... haix... gotta work on it manz... haiyoa... well... internal conflicts are arising in 2/4.. so maybe im starting to hate 2/4... the students vs class commitee...hu will win..kinda senario.. haiz... y am i in such pathetic state... for our reputation...muz we spoil the whole class's team spirit?? this is dumb... too dumb... riz is getting unreasonable.. terrence too.. teo too~~ wat is css now?? sitting according to index?? military sch?? argh!! i rather transfer sch manz... stupid... singapore school's system is dumb... argh!

argh!!

2005-01-14T23:18:00.000-08:00

ass~~ my so called secret blog kenna linked...hell man... fuck~! argh~!! start new one.. ass~! urgh!! these few daes super sian...tiring.. argh~~!! hate my life~~ suicidal tots come and goes.. ass... wat to do~~!!! wat is happening to my life.. my sch work is a mess...my frenz.. well..i dunno... bout the bgr..forget it..its hopeless.. argh~~!!! wat happened to me?? y am i so useless this time round~~??!!! argh~~!!! the netball gals.. knn... so mani so attitude... to hell wif them.. give them a slap each... and tt 1/9 kenneth.. ass...walk like act big... ass lor.. dun let me lay my finger on his face.. ass.. so short..act so big.. apologise to me still so guai lan... so mani sec 1 so attitude... ass... act so big for wat.. ass...smallest in this sch lor.. still diao here diao there.. no respect given at all.. tt netball gal.. stupid de... diao seniors..ass... such a big plaid.. then onli stand there as displae.. no one ask her join netball..bu shuang dun come la~~ ass~! kick her ass~!!!! argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant stand it anymore~~ dun come mess wif me....